Delayed Not Denied

I can still feel that knot in my stomach on the sideline in Atlanta. Watching a Natty slip away like that. Not being able to contribute like I wanted because of my knee. It kills me, man. It cuts me up. I hate thinking about it. Hate talking about it. I was feeling better than I had been during the playoffs, but the knee just wasn’t right. Our coaches knew that. And here’s the thing about those guys: They really care about me, as a person. They weren’t going to put me in a position to hurt myself, to do something I’d really regret. They looked out for me. Yeah, I didn’t feel a whole lot of physical pain that night — but the mental pain … that stuff scars, too. I wish there was a part of me that could sit here and be like, We moved on, we forgot about it. Short memory. Just gotta get ready to go again.

Nah….

It’s just not like that.

I’ll never forget that night.

Just no way.

I remember the work we put in to get there. I remember that it wasn’t enough. And I remember what Coach Free said to us in the locker room after the game.

 “Our national championship hasn’t been denied — it’s just been delayed.”

I’ve been thinking about those words a lot this summer. Delayed. If you aren’t in our room, if you’re not one of us, you might think that’s cocky or whatever. Truth is? I don’t care what you think all that much. You aren’t here for fall camp. You aren’t in the weight room at 6 a.m. with me. You aren’t in the huddle. You wouldn’t bleed for these guys. But I am. And I would. I promise that. And we’ve got a chip on our shoulders now. I don’t care if you’ve heard that one before. It’s true in here. 

There’s a like-mindedness to this year’s group. Everybody knows we have one goal, to reach our full potential. And everybody is willing to put the work in. It’s an honor to get better every day with these guys. I don’t take a second of my time here for granted. Because it goes so fast. Feels like yesterday sometimes that I was on campus for the first time, walking around with my family and thinking about my future.

I just remember the weight of history around Notre Dame. It’s in every building and every part of town. I appreciate that, I really do. And I like the history. I’m here for it. But Notre Dame, I’m going to keep it real with you here…. I don’t just want to look at history. 

I want to make it.

You feel me??

I’m about the here and now. That’s what I wanted to know about Notre Dame back when I was being recruited. Were they going to be in it with me? And, man, that’s what getting to know Coach Free did. He’s genuine. He’s got a good heart. Yes, he’s Coach, and he’s important. But he’s also my family. And we started working on that relationship during our visit. I got to know Coach McCullough, my first running backs coach, during the first part of recruiting, too. He’s another great person. Between him and Coach Free, my first trip to South Bend was exactly how I’d hoped it would be. They were welcoming to me and my family. They really made us feel cared for. They just got us. And now I am building that same type of relationship with Coach Seider. It’s a family here.

And Coach Free, man, a big thing for me? He didn’t just talk about football. All these visits, everyone would tell me, You’re going to get X amount of touches, we’re going to have you doing all these things, and NFL this and NFL that. And I get that part, no doubt.

But Coach Free, he was like, Jeremiyah, who do you want to be?

That’s a good question, Coach.

I’m glad you asked.

Let me tell you.

Probably easier if I just show you actually.

That’s who I always wanted to be when I came to Notre Dame.

Tie game … fourth quarter … semifinal … give me the rock. I could feel my knee, the brace. But they could have sent 50 dudes over the line at me and the boys, nobody was stopping us. Coach put me in for a reason. I’m that guy, man, for real. Give me the rock. I love watching that play back. Seeing the chaos. Everybody blocking and doing their best to help me get over the line, to give us the lead. Being able to do that with my brothers who I bleed with, who I sweat with?? MAN. I’m getting fired up just thinking about it right now. Give me the rock!!!

Special moment. Just proud of the group. Proud of myself. Proud to represent Notre Dame in a game like that. 

That was “just” two yards. But I think what people don’t see is how much really went into those two yards. I was only 17 when I got on campus in South Bend. And I was 185 pounds soaking wet. You don’t see too many 180 pound running backs. But Coach Free and the staff showed they believed in me. They put me on special teams. They put me in the playbook. They did all this little stuff to let me know that they were seeing me, and seeing the work I was putting in to get better.

I had some good guys in my corner during that freshman year. Audric was really helpful to me. Seeing him develop as a back in his last year of ball, it was impressive. He and Jack Kiser showed me what was possible in a way. What hard work can do.

I felt like, heading into last year, there was an opportunity for me — and I had to be the one to take it.

For me, it was honestly a pretty simple formula if I was going to improve.

I had to get my weight up.

Before Audric left, he said, “Man, if you get some size … you gon’ be unstoppable.”

And coaches were telling me I had the speed, the twitch, the brain for it. All that. But I had to get bigger. I grew up knowing that goals are nice and all, but they’re just goals. Nobody hangs banners about goals. It’s the work that makes a goal a reality. I knew that. So the work came naturally to me. And I went into last year with the confidence of Notre Dame behind me.

I look back at last year, man, and it hurts. It does. But I’m proud of what we accomplished as a group. Honestly, and this might sound weird to y’all, but the thing I’m most proud of? The loss to Northern Illinois. Not losing the game, obviously. But how we bounced back. For us to lose at home, against a team outside a major conference … I mean, that stuff derails a program. You see it happen to teams who lose one like that early on and end up with four or five losses.

That wasn’t going to be us.

That was a crossroads for us. We could have gone one way. But we chose to just trust one another, to love one another.

That’s Notre Dame football. 

And I think we showed the country we’re a damn good team.

That atmosphere against Indiana in the first ever playoff game…. I mean…. How awesome was that?

X with a big pick, Knapp with a huge block. Shoutout my guys, man. I got to run 98 yards to the house but I could feel them with me. I’ll remember that moment forever. Everyone was playing for each other that night. I can’t wait for another one of those.

The playoffs were tough, though. My knee was kind of bugging me all postseason. I knew it was injured but I felt like I still had so much gas in the tank. I wanted to be 100% so bad, man. It just wasn’t meant to be. I did everything I could to contribute. I knew any little bit I could give might make the difference. It’s a cliché, but in my heart — in my heart, bro, I’m telling you — I’m certain that anyone on our team would have played through whatever they were dealing with, just to give us a chance. That’s all real. I’m so proud that we went out there and believed in each other, that we loved each other. Yeah … I remember the pain from the Natty. But I remember the love, too.

And I feel like now it’s time to use that pain, and use that love.

And put it all toward one goal.