Courtney Williams Is A Problem

People like me don’t usually get to be in this position. We’re not really celebrated for who we are — definitely not made the face of anything. And we damn sure don’t get second chances, you know what I’m saying?

Let’s be real: I’m a black masculine woman from Folkston, Georgia. I’m not corporate at all. No matter what room I’m standing in, I’m walking into that room as myself. And people are going to judge me just off the strength of that alone.… She’s too hood. She needs some media training. I’ve heard it all. I’ve been judged and written off my whole life. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. 

Look, my story’s not cookie cutter. It’s no Disney Channel Original Movie. I’ll be honest, I was really in those fights. I was at those parties. Outside the club. On the block. That was all me. I’m really from that. I really grew up with spinna’s on the Tahoe. If that makes you feel some type of way, this story might not be for you. So you can just keep whatever impression you have. I’m fine with that. 

If you want the real story, I’ll tell it all.

But first I gotta take you back….. Back to dorm rooms and hoop dreams. Teen romance and heartbreak. Love & Basketball type joint. You get the idea.

Siri, play “My Boo” by Alicia Keys and Usher. Lol.

OK, story time.

So boom — it’s 2013. I’m playing basketball at the University of South Florida. 

And I got a secret girlfriend. 

Oh yeah, and she’s one of my roommates.

Like I said, I’m from a small town, so when I was coming up being gay wasn’t even a thing. People weren’t really messing with that. I never even looked at girls in that way until I was 18 years old. Sometimes I would see someone and think, She’s pretty. But that was always it. It was never, Oh, you fine. That didn’t even cross my mind. By the time it did cross my mind, I was in college, and I kind of had the classic situation.

Me and my best friend got closer and closer, until it became clear that we were maybe more than friends, and we started dating.

Alright, just this one.

That’s how it always starts, you know what I’m sayin’?

Just this one girl.

Anyway, one day my mom and my sister, Doniece, were in town visiting me. And their trip just happened to coincide with me and my girl getting into a huge argument over another girl. But we can’t really argue, you know what I mean? Because my family’s there, along with another one of my friends, and they don’t know we’re dating. So it’s all happening on the phone. I’m hanging with them, and my phone’s blowing up. Eventually, I just stop responding. Mind you, my girlfriend’s in the next room over. I guess after a while she got fed up, because all of sudden she hit me like, “Alright, when I come knocking on that door, just know I’m telling your mom what’s really going on.” I’m like, Pffffft. AIGHT. I’m not falling for it. I’m like, “Man, I don’t care.” 

Next thing I know…. 

*Knock, knock, knock*

“Ms. Michelle, can I talk to you?” 

Yooo. I’m like, Bro, WHAT?

When you hear that knock in a scary movie it’s over with. That’s the LAST thing you want to hear. My mama’s like, “Of course, baby.” So she takes my mom to her room. 

Now I’m sweating f***ing bullets. 

Inside, I’m starting to panic. I look at Doniece and my friend. I said, “Man, I gotta tell y’all something.” They like, “What? What?” Because they see the fear in my eyes. They feel it. I said super fast, “Me-and-shorty-been-dating-and-she-finna-tell-Mama.”

They’re like, “OH MY GOD, WE KNEW IT!! WE KNEW IT!!!”

My mom comes back to my room. She’s serious now. She said, “Courtney, come here.” I’m just so happy Doniece was there, because she lightened the mood so much. She was laughing like, “I’m coming, too!” My friend stayed behind. So me, my mom, and Doniece walk into my girlfriend’s room. My mama goes, “So what’s going on?” I’m like, “I don’t know.” 

If this was a movie, right here is where they would cut to my sister looking at me. Cut to me looking at my sister.

Then cut to shorty over here bawling. 

My mom is like, “Courtney, I’m going to ask you one more time.” I put my head down. I said, “Me and her have been dating.” 

When I tell you it felt like a bomb exploded in my heart…. Oh. My. God.

My girlfriend instantly stops crying and looks at me with the biggest eyes like, What did you just do? Now I’m realizing that she ain’t say nothing to my mama the whole time!!!! And my mom is shocked. She leaves the room. My sister busts out laughing and walks out the room with Mama. So they leave me alone with my girl. We broke up. Obviously.

I went back to my room not knowing what to expect. I’m thinking, Is she gon’ be mad? Is she gonna disown me? The first thing my mama said was, “I knew you and that girl had something going on…. I know my child.”

Then she smiled. She said, “It was a game….” 

A game that they had come to see me play. All my family was there. I can still remember walking out of the locker room that day and seeing them in the bleachers. My mom said, “We were all right here in front of you, and the girl was across the way on these other bleachers.” She was like, “You saw us. I saw you see us.”

And then she saw me see her.

She saw how my face lit up, and she knew that that wasn’t the kind of lighting up you do when you see a friend. So deep down, she knew. I feel very lucky that when I came out, both of my parents were very supportive. To this day my mama will laugh and say like, “I still don’t know how y’all girls do that.”

“But hey, I love you. I love who you love.”

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Picture Folkston candy-painted. 

Burnt oranges, lime greens, cherry reds. That’s the backdrop.

When I tell you Folkston is small….. Man, listen. The biggest thing we have in Folkston is Harveys. We don’t have Chick-fil-A, or Walmart. We don’t got none of that. We got Harvey’s, McDonald’s, and Burger King. But it’s also just a really loving, close-knit community.

I can’t even tell you why, but when Easter comes around it’s going down in Folkston. Always. That’s the biggest holiday we have. It’s like a big-ass block party. We just all going buck on the block getting turnt up. We got this park called The Sticks, and everybody brings out their horses and their big-ass cars. I’m talking about candy-painted donks with the 22s, big-ass trucks. It’s flooded. I’ll never forget when my cousin went to the University of Florida, my dad ended up getting a custom Crown Vic that had the Florida Gators painted on it jacked up on the 22s, too. So that’s Folkston.

The way I grew up, if you needed somewhere to stay, our house was always open, especially when it came to family. My mama’s sister had mad kids. Like five or six. I remember them coming to the crib living with us. Another time, her brother’s kids came to live with us. I was never alone growing up. Our house was always full. That’s just who my mama was. So now, that’s who I am. My people are my people. I’ll always make sure they’re good.

Maybe it won’t surprise you, but being from a place like that comes with high highs and low lows. You establish your values. You learn how to do without. You absorb all the flyness, the cars, the sauce. That becomes a part of your essence. But you also take on the other stuff, too. The darker stuff. The anger, defensiveness, the uncompromising sense of right and wrong. The street codes. 

You think when I got to the league, all of that just disappeared? Man, you trippin’.

Ever since I was little, something I’ve always struggled with is, I hate being mistreated, or seeing someone else being picked on or bullied. I just don’t like being played with. And in the past, when I felt like that was happening, I’m not someone who could turn the other cheek. My parents raised me to stand on business. And that’s sometimes gotten me into trouble. It’s been my downfall. I’m not saying this to sound tough, I’m just being real. A lot of people won’t understand, but people from places like where I’m from, they get it. 

In my sophomore year of high school my life changed because of a fight. Someone got into it with my cousin, and they didn’t know she was pregnant so I jumped in to defend her. The cops came, they arrested us, and took us all to jail. I ended up having to go to court with my mama. And they sent me to an alternative school for the rest of the year. Something I wish more people knew about alternative school is that a lot of them don’t help the kids there. They’re basically just babysitting the bad kids. They’ve already decided what type of person you are, so at that point, they’re just preparing you for a life in the system. For one, the schoolwork is super easy. And two, you’re almost completely isolated. We weren’t allowed to ride the bus with the other kids. I couldn’t go to any games, nothing. I missed prom that year. My school experience was just over.

It’s one of those things I look back on, and I’m glad I went through it because I learned a big lesson about minding my own business, but also just life honestly. I realized the world didn’t think kids like me were ever gonna amount to anything. We weren’t worth saving. See, this is the stuff that people don’t hear. They just think, Oh, Courtney got in some fight. That’s who she is. But it’s deeper than that. It’s about the world I’m from, how I was raised, what I’ve been conditioned to accept, or not accept.

It always starts with someone saying something crazy, maybe even as a joke. Everyone’s had that experience, right? That part’s universal. But we all grow up differently, and so our reactions are different. I don’t play like that. I’ll try and reason with you, but if you double down out of pride or something, I get upset. That feeling takes a hold of me so powerfully, to the point where my eyes start watering. All of a sudden you’re thinking, I’m about to lose it on this person. They’re playing with me. I know it sounds crazy if you’ve never felt it, but in a moment like that, you’re ready to risk everything for your values. One time, before a fight, I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face, to try and calm down. And I’ll never forget, I’m looking in the mirror. And I had the tiniest moment of self awareness like, Hey, do, you really need to do this? And I said to myself, Yep, I gotta do it. This has to happen.

I wish I could tell you that was my last fight. But y’all read the news.....

It was Atlanta, 2021.

I was an All-Star that year. And I was living the kind of life people rap about. I’m just being real!! Partying, sections. My girlfriend at the time was popping it in that scene and on YouTube, so I got caught up in that world. That’s a world that I thrive in. Where I’m from, I’m used to being around black women who twerk, who are proud of being hood. These are my aunties, my uncles, my cousins. These are the spaces that I’m used to being in. My grandma still lives in the projects right now. My mama lived in a trailer. When I go home and I turn up, I’m on the block. That’s where I feel … normal. Being in the league was where I felt different. That was the culture shock.

So I’m playing for Atlanta, but I was also living this underground life in these gay spaces, think like extra extra black. It’s not a corporate world. At the same time, I’m still showing up to practice and doing my job — I was an All-Star. I just had this other stuff going on, too. One night, I was in a fight outside a club. I told the team about it at the time, and we moved on. A few months later I recounted the situation on YouTube. But I really messed up sharing that, and I have to live with it.

That video dropped, and it went viral. I go on Twitter, and I’m everywhere. People are like, “Look at this hood-ass bitch from the projects. She’s the problem.” Just a lot of stuff like that. And I’ll be honest, that really hurt me. I hated reading that. I had the owners from Atlanta calling me telling me to take the video down. It was a mess.

I’ll tell you how real it got.

Before the video, I’m coming off an All-Star year, I’m popping it. My agent is like, “Every team wants you, Court. You’re going to be a max player next year.” In the off-season, the league called my agent and said, “We want Court to come do player marketing.” That was amazing. That meant I wouldn’t have to play overseas. Well, fast forward, after the video dropped, the W called my agent, took the player marketing off the table. No team wanted to touch me.

All of a sudden it was like, Courtney Williams is a problem.

The only team that reached out was Connecticut, who knew me from the beginning.… but only for $70,000. That’s not even a vet minimum. I’m an All-Star, leading Atlanta in points, rebounds and assists — I’m easily a max player, on any team. But because I messed up, 240 turned into 70.

Jonquel Jones is my dawg. JJ, I love her down. She was in Connecticut at the time, and she said, “I want you back on this team.” She took less than the max salary she could have gotten and that freed up cap space for them to offer me more money. That was huge. Man, what?? Listen, y’all know ​​I talk mess all day about New York because I can’t stand them!!! Hahah. But in real life, JJ is my sister. That’s my dawg. Nobody can play with JJ around me.

So I ended up going back to Connecticut for a year. And then I went to a training camp for Team USA. And I think that just gave people the chance to see me in a different light.

For so much of my career, I felt this tension between who I really am, and who I thought I had to be as a representative of the W — where I’ve been and where I am now, pulling me in two different directions. It took me a long time to reconcile that. But when I look back on everything, the chance I got from Connecticut, the help from JJ….. That’s when I realized, these really are my people.

I’ll always be Folkston, all the way down. But after almost 10 years in the W, man this is my family. I belong here, too.

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When I signed with Minnesota, I feel like I walked through the doors of our practice facility with something to prove. I had a big chip on my shoulder. This organization took a chance on me before it was cool. And I’m honestly so grateful for that.

I just really wanted to prove them right.

Everybody knows Cheryl Reeve is a winner. Everyone knows the dynasty — Sylvia Fowles, Maya Moore, Lindsay Whalen, Rebekkah Brunson.

Cheryl is somebody who’s so respected in this league, if she wants you on her team, you need to go be on that team. Even my mama was like, “If Cheryl wants you, you need to go.” And I see why because Cheryl is a f***ing basketball genius.

Yo real talk, when I got here, I won’t lie, I thought it was gonna be a little boring, cookie cutter. Lol. You have to think, I’m from Folkston!! So I’m like, Who am I gon’ vibe with? But then T ended up signing, and that was a relief because we played in Connecticut together and had a relationship. But I really didn’t know what to think about everybody else. I just had, I don’t know, maybe like an insecurity I guess. Like none of them are going to be able to relate to me…. Man, when I tell you I was 100% wrong!! When I tell you these are some of the coolest people I’ve EVER been around. And they’re so different from me. A lot of these girls grew up in the suburbs, and I’m like the opposite of that. So coming together as a team was really like worlds colliding. But I don’t know man, it just works.

Cheryl told me when they go into free agency, what they’re really looking for is good people. There are so many women out here that are talented as hell, but how are you as a person? What is your temperament going to bring to this team? How are you going to mesh with the people that we already have? And I feel like that’s really what it was … we all just meshed.

I can literally pinpoint the moment it all came together. The ice-breaking moment was this one night we all went out to dinner, the whole team, and we were just sitting around this table chopping it up. And you could probably see over the course of the night, us warming up to each other and our impressions changing of one another in real time. And you know what else? That’s probably the first time I realized how humble Phee is. She is the most relatable person in the world, bro, and doesn’t judge anybody. Also, just seeing how she handles her business…. When I think I’m tired, I look over at Phee and think, Oh she really doing it big. She’s a MOM, and she’s really doing it like this. And you never see her complain. She always does it with a smile. That’s dope as hell.

It’s actually funny, still to this day, I’ll look to Phee as my gut check. True story. I posted a picture on Instagram where I had on a sports bra. Now back in the day I’m just like, whatever, man. But now, I swear to God, I’m like, “Phee, is this too much?” She’s like, “Courtney, that’s fine.” Hahaha. It’s like, Alright, I feel good. If Phee say it’s cool, we good. 

So yeah, we all went to that dinner the first night, and it was just like, Damn, we click.

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When I look back on my first year in Minnesota, I feel like that whole season was just us in a nutshell. It’s a little unheard of, making a run like we did, with a team that’s never played together. They brought in me, T, Lan. We had all these new pieces, and in that kinda situation, you’re just trying to see what works. You want to win, but that takes time. When you look around this league at teams like that, they’re usually not that successful that fast. Maybe they’ll land somewhere in the middle of the pack, but they’re not like a Finals contender, Game 5 team, you feel me?

And listen, I gotta address the elephant in the room. We got unfinished business in New York.

That Finals…. I’m still pissed, bro forreal.

I think a lot of people, especially our fans, look back at the way we lost in Game 5, and have some things to say, about the officiating or whatever. I know people get caught up on the foul calling. 

Not me.

You know what I think? 

FOUR POINTS.

In Game 5, I dropped four f***ing points.

It should’ve never come down to a foul call.

I had been hooping the whole series. And then the last game, I just s*** the bed. And Cheryl’s so real. She told me that. Even after all that heartbreak, she straight up was like, “If you would’ve played the way you had been playing, it wouldn’t have even been close.” So yeah, that game’s going to stick with me forever. Forever. 

I think my legs were just kind of shot. And the thing is, having played New York mad times, at that point, it’s about who can just go out hoop the other team. We already know what they doing. They know all our sets. We know all theirs. And at the end of the day, I feel like my mind and my body just weren’t where they needed to be. I wasn’t ready for the moment. And that’s been my motivation all this year. That’s why I’ve been locked the f*** in.

I started eating better. I started....

You know what? Why am I even talking? Y’all see the results. Y’all see the box scores. 

We’re coming for the title this year, man. We on a revenge tour. 

I’ve been in this league 10 years now, and I need my f***ing ring, bro.

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You know what I love being called? 

“Vet.” 

That’s my favorite label. 

Just “vet in this league.” 

I’m so blessed to be a veteran in this league, man. I made a career out of playing basketball — not many people can say that. I don’t think people really understand how hard that is.

You want to know something? I didn’t watch the WNBA when I was growing up because I just didn’t think that was even attainable. In my mind, it was like, I need to focus on whatever I can do to get up out my mama house. I just had different priorities at the time. But even in college, I didn’t believe I would make it to the W. Not until my junior year. At the end of the season, my coach said, “I think you might be on the draft board.” That really opened my eyes. That’s when I started thinking, Oh, dang. This is real.

I’m just grateful to the people that never gave up on me, who didn’t write me off when they could have. I’m also so grateful to Minnesota, to our FANS. To the organization. To the amazing women that make up our team.

I was wrong about one thing — Minnesota is dope as hell!!!

I’m trying to get that f***ing ring. Believe that.

But the real message I wanted to get across is bigger than hoop, to be honest. 

One last little thing about me. When I was finally drafted, my biggest inspiration at the time was Cappie Pondexter. I saw her, and I thought I could be just like her. She short like me. She tatted like me. I looked at her, and I really thought, That could be me. That’s why I wanted to write this. I’ve always felt that if you see it, you could be it. To some people that’s cliché, but for me that’s as real as it gets. Because that’s how I was when I was growing up. I needed to see proof.

Now, I want to be that proof. 

I want to show kids that this is possible. But more than that, I want people to realize that you’re not your mistakes. People will always judge you off your worst moments, but you don’t have to pay attention to that. You’re allowed to grow. I know plenty of people who had to get it out the mud, fell back and had to try again. That’s just the way the story is written sometimes.

That doesn’t make you bad. It doesn’t make you a problem.

It just makes you human.

—Court